EPILOGUE FROM THE WRITER: SILENTLY I AM WRITER

Written by Nurel Javissyarqi
Translated by Agus B. Harianto

Oh my God, shower to this my good brother the creativity that
rich and abundance. Make his intellectual work as the science
usefully and spout the brightness for the human kind
whom glorify the mannerism of thinking “Cogito ergo sum”
(Maman S. Mahayana, via short messages of self phone)

This is the great snapping out, the touching of God’s grace that incredible to be expected, from someone I admire at the mannerism of writing. The Lebaran Days of self also all at once the big moment for Islam people, when the pray is reverberated sincerely; the efforts of perspective is fully light showered with the brightness.

I be the self, as if do not believe the overflowed of God’s grace trough the soft hand of him. It is large enjoyment when the praise and compliment are delivered even trough the most selfish is climbing, a kind of, when peeping at the science seeker on the wood’s walls of school of Koran. Or, in the middle of stingingly sun meaning the book of life at the time of fasting.

I hope there is no conceit sticky inside of me that just knew the world of literature of around; it is the species of great of the great quality, the literature in the middle of scientific classify. Where, hope the move- sway- passion of the hand of same human kind, only to deflect peace of the world.

Alhamdulillah that was the stepping up when it was really planted the grateful thanks to the presence of The Big Power on the passionate grace; the loving for the atmosphere of the mankind’s prosperity. Finally, the acts produced, similar like the soft of well behavior, the sincerity of brain understands until clearly enough to brighten the treasure of human kinds.

The grateful thanks are the incarnation of sentences of Adam after awaked up from consciousness of sky only for running the life. For the holy thing would be expanded, on, basically of thinking with well mannerism, and Siti Hawa obeyed the laws of universe. With it the world rotate in sweet harmony, there is no right is disrespectful on the unclearly demand, by the temporarily situation. As if can’t be stopped when the fingers walk, perform the marriage of ink hardly, which have the breaths of holy. Moreover, the holiness have more meaning, if realize the important of black struggling of ink; translate the world of change only for touch each other of love together.

I hope that this is the other observance of religious duty area, when the places to do religious duty are not good enough to taken good care, because the hours are so tied lock the fence with suspicious. Alternatively, everything has religion, as the label on it is the decoration only, the effort of prestige caused has seen the cover only. While the content doesn’t care just like that, until have been has the rust- rusty in it, putrefaction on the destination, or misuse for pay revenge; alike just the attention for the same group.

Only the pray delivers these words to flow so beauty; there won’t be formed except trough the God’s laws. For the human kind only, the sweet hand can’t be pulled back unless by God’s power. The mono wish is the change inside, which its claws on the vibration of impulse have influenced by the distance of love- jealous. Alternatively, the times of forget hypnotized by beauty face of the tempter; that is the face of old and weak world, decorated for deceive the sleepy eyes of night. The effort of haziness that is usually inserted to the philosophy of big power, to make the ideology be free, the idea of his tyrant nation. There is interesting description, when the writer visits to him; the efforts of joy are embed from the consciousness’s teaching of life on the deed of wise for the one who compose it, fill the life with the simplicity. Simple philosophy, the most difficult I thought. I become remembered on the Hamka’s book, life philosophy, which describes the behavior deed of joy, which supported by the working of think- feel as the Human being, together with the tools of its universalism. Also he on his books, much echoing the literature of intellectuality at the intervals of discussing of literature as the stray man they said. Take good care of our self in front of the mirror being alone, under the policy of Far East.

Truly is I so shy to mean the pray for me, but as long as there is the good of it, some kind of good intention at the beginning, which the truth is be able to deliver unbearable energy, overloaded in passionate in the era of immeasurable time. Although pressed by tired and weary or even that is being in crazy. That intention more than the body, the shadow be far away reach the dawn of people’s waiting, while the doer is on the across of mind of possibility to get there.

Of course, with a glass of kohwa and many cigarettes, as friend of this writing. Would you like coffee? I hope this time, you are drinking it; a glass of kohwa together with the aroma of Indonesian archipelago. I remembered the good taste of past time Timor- Timur (I had a friend whom came from there; Fernando, he seen still love Jogjakarta). The taste of Timor Leste coffee straight to the head. There is a kind of opium; the opium of conflict, but let’s hope there is no more addicted conflict in the country of that our brother. Also are still there the minina bonita? When tasted the coffee of Lampung, ah, it’s delicious, too. That’s the way it is, when I am drinking a glass of kohwa slowly, what the happen was stray, but certainly the reader get the another shadow from this story; that is, enjoyable that is depend on the composing of address, the land that builds for the growing seeds of coffee was scattered yesterday.

I call this, two principle of enjoyable; the farmer’s tradition to expand the creativity in the guarding the quality of high taste, and the work of literature too. How beauty is, if you can enjoy the technique of this hospitality, which has a little strong willing and too immoral. Even in the simple house; normally words with no high- sounding, it is not the type of analyze guarantee for the developing intellectual of the reader. No, I don’t have that so good matter. Unless what the village’s boy that ever shepherding, and now become the shepherd of words; that is the speech on the color of unstable phenomena, in this great and useful country, he said.

I worry to the one who believes too much to his work that can develop the intellectual, used for the heart to be back in hiding; which is the cunning to stupefy the young of own country. Therefore, we should have the filter of reading of entered understanding, to the stomach of ideology of our country (our selves).

Only for pull the strings of pray, and show reality for the way, where the consciousness should step on its own feet. At the other place, Imam Al- Ghozali had ever say; don’t make a work when you hold the willing. A phase of psychology, where we have to finish the problem inside of us, after throw away the negative thinking, and then begin on the stepping of delayed time.

Develop from below, said poem (in Java language) Koh Hwat; we must balance the present and the passion to the future, and then we will get the phase of neutrality, the peace on the spirit of nature come closer. The arrow fly upward released from the pressing of bad passion aim to the bright destination, the clearly told wishes.

On the other hand, throw the ship’s cargo that is not important enough, when the coming of dangerous high wave occurs, this is the way of possibility to survive until to the cross of land. Because the body is contained the soul that rides it, for the important thing had passed trough the mandate, open the God’s mercy of entire world, brother R. Ng. Ronggowarsito gives a term on it, the literature of Jendra Ayuningrat.

Back to the top of pray, if I was not wrong about Descrates said; Cogito ergo sum. Then the writer remembered on the beauty of Islam theory that glorifies the deed of thinking. Does not waste the human’s chance to decorate mind’s moving for the compliment done. The truth is, it can ward off the occurred of poison drinking of Socrates in the past, on his nation people that totally dull- witted. Who didn’t believe to his thinking, because they were so obedient to the religion that has one eye importance.

It is true that the conviction sometimes born before occur the deeper thinking, otherwise, doesn’t when we are in the door of death of friend- enemy; we can observe the distance carefully, in order to the blood doesn’t be poured out uselessly. The efforts of war could be avoided, if does not assume that pouring out is the holy. When, thousands blessing love and lave flood the soul. Love onto the science does not mean then become blind fanatics, but how to keep observe the corners of jewel carefully, until that noble stone is finished.

Alternatively, that is the way of the journey of life, must get there is the respected martyr also the looser that too much more than the limit. When the one whom talk is the change; the evolution of thinking is moving, also the aroma of its spirituality is going up and upper, or, but; perhaps they feel had more than usual, in order there is no more feeling about the existence of ladder. Is this the escalator of the corrupters, or the rich men that just being done, on the feeling of isolation yesterday afternoon.

I enter the range area of literature in the blind- color condition, deaf- ear. Therefore, what I told to the reader, probably some kind of self backbites, if Nietzsche said, self-critics. However, I continue to step front, I do not want to be blind forever, this eyes does not want to be blind in their watching (opinion), when enter the area self-integrity, and of course with own understanding.

It does not mean that this self is very deceitful in the judgment, but I do not want to be poisoned by the understanding of their brain- mind that sometimes does not comfort in my personal stomach. Alhamdulillah, Allah gives the way, the way to state the grudges in public until were not occurring the placing items in bundles, which is caused by could not reel the age’s strings of nervousness. In here, truly is, I do not need to apologize, because the intention is clearly; on the contrary, I doubt on what they assumed as the achievement. However, caused for close the sentences; “that’s why, please forgive me.” Does not the word “sorry” can also mean as “good-bye, or, see you”. A word is sent only for the longing to the one who left behind; some kind of mystery, the energy of interrupt on the mysteriousness of word:

The word “sorry” is located in the address of between, the world of sky and the earth; the sorry of human to his God, sorry for the human kind to the others human kind. Which its mediator trough the signals of doing; does not modestly, also does not too much teaching. Except, if it is delivered trough sarcastic smiling, of course found out. Because the word “sorry” is in the space of neutral, no one can use it unless in the balance condition, if want the eternality of that word, for own- others humankind.

Two words in one breathing “thank you” that told by Octavio Paz in begun his speech when college the Noble of literature at 1990. The word “thank you”, in Roman language, is the extent meaning that occurred to pervade, save the power of physical and the power of spiritual. The words sorry, thank you and see you are pray. This I felt, those pray reach the sky of hope, when the holy steam is getting into the height.

Truly, I was shy to reply his pray, but I sent the replies short message, some kind like this to him and to the sky; let’s hope Allah shower His most beauty blessing to you, until each of striping gives benefit into the world and into the heaven, to the human being and the nature of God’s creating, amen.

Suddenly, new consciousness was born, felt as Wayne said in the Olenka Budi Darma’s novel; secretly I am writer. The thing that never guessed since I was kid until now, everything is running alike without stepping on the aware, similar like the flowing water; is it really feel the seriousness, the location of flowing? Or, the passing is just a railway that yet meaning. Is the certainty on the surface of the great large ocean? That can’t differentiate between himself with theory of searching from another sector, or perhaps what this I am doing, unarranged breathing on the different sitting place; resembling like tomorrow thinking or far day after tomorrow, that can’t be reached by the desire or even the passion.

May be? Alike, I ever talked about at the moment of launching the book Kajian Budaya Semi (the first book of Trilogi Kesadaran) in the campus of Untag, Surabaya, December 1, 2005 ago; which only knew the space- time only, doesn’t different from the crazy man be afraid to be crashed by car, because walk on the sidewalk. Wonder what more important can melt the space- time into the self, in order doesn’t be trapped by both, but, compose it inside of the self to become the imprison quality, by the coming of the twilight or even the dawn. The spirit and everything that makes color, the truth is in our selves; this is the location where the space of river water’s flowing are touching each other, jump up and down to climb down the valley of understanding, always nurses around the space- times with high speed, reaches the yearning of doer.

Until now, the theory of secretly is keep flowing, as if I don’t want to be awaked for the whole body, on the yesterday working that is developed. Everything is keep running, walk with strange conviction; the flared up of mysterious seriousness, as if doesn’t know where the purpose exactly. Secretly, silently, the world is running in front of us, and we track the life in the silence of understanding, even though seem talking one another, fighting or more.

Is it true that everything come together with the most intimate leisurely? As if being doubt to decide the way, gets him self in alas gong lewang lewong (very empty forest/ world); opens the anomaly with tottered steps, or gored of matador’s wild ox of Java. The clearly thing is, with stretching in and out, the kite be able to fly high; chance to create the jealous of gravity, and its trick to the air, some kind of description to understand to humanity. Moreover, felt the philosophy of Java that doesn’t extinct by the change of periods; urip mung mampir ngombe (this life just about dropping in to drink), then the logical coincident of God’s lines, print the blue film, the another language of fate.

Some times I feel the mandate of secretly, makes me very exciting, also, similar like most of the writers give their opinion; it is the karma of silent, the stones of curse, or, the hot chili pepper without intermezzo. In silently the kid grows become adult, one by one leave us; the law is running certainly in silent, cuts the times off, clears away another chance, and our time is lulled by, astonished by our self. Enmity, intervention, and affair, suddenly swing the pain, or ask into the grace of love of universe.

Names are embed for the sign, because the ghost of forgotten is ready to drawn the history in anytime, then the thunderous of counting is circulated, disperse off become the carpet of knowledge; the life’s ups and down are stabbed, doesn’t live in the hunger change’s value. Those feeling coagulates on the silently grumble; if income is counted, your breathing is through fast, therefore, get ready to take it from the guardhouse of opinion.

The human being rests in peace silently, only for accumulate the power of wanderer. Is it really at that moment he got the truth of working reality, which doesn’t mean to silently; in fact the cane, the pray of hope, for the dawn is must be drawn. Be in hole in the unclearly when being alone without God; stillness is not silently in peace, but disaster, unstable, dry and become nothing.

Therefore, thank you so much I present to him, the giver of cane of hoping, and the light of pray shine shiny; until the twilight also the dawn, night also day, are stay in bright. As clear as there is nothing changed, in the contrary, inside of it there are thousands enjoyment. Maturnuwon (thanks) become so sure; Jakarta or alas gong lewang lewong are still same, as firm as the water only for the thirsty, the ocean of feeling is not felt, except surrender our self in the working silently by God.

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